today was a day where i sat and sat 

and had so many intentions

and my appointments were hard

and sad and annoying and sweaty

and clammy and chilly 

and i was supposed to breath easily 1234

and hold 1234

and breath out 1234 but i couldnt do it

because its so hard to do anything when i only think im doing it wrong

and now im still sitting here and the only ok part

was when my dad said we'd go on a walk and my brother went too.

and the other day in the hair place sheila said

she doesn't think we can ever truly really know someone

ever, at all

and god that makes me so sad